New year's change perhaps?

Is it this new year that's making me so busy?

Is it this new year that made me so indecisive?

Is it this new year with new beginnings and new start made me change from what I was?

Is it this new year that made me discover who I really am and catching hold of all my strengths? Did i use it too much?

Is it this new year that made me a really optimistic person and making me closer to my international motivational speaker dream?

Is it this new year that I think I'm not that lovable after all and make my self esteem lower in-spite of the optimism I've discovered from self made quotes?

Is it this new year that I've changed into a worried freak?

Is it this new year that make me enjoy my year less and making me miserable?

Is it this new year that making me more sensitive?

Is it this new year that i should put all the blame on it?

Is this how i should spend my 2011?

What happened?

I dont know myself anymoree

And i dont want to discover myself, cuz the more i do, the more depress and lower self esteem i have. The more sensitive i became.

Aren't I still as naive as always?

Aren't I who I was last year?

Why me again?

Is this what people undergo before the gain of SUCCESS? how long more? how far away am I from it? I'm still a teenager.. Is it fair for such destruction I have to face everyday?

Heart day

Happy Valentine's day to all(: Have a great lovey dovey awesome day!

After all, love is in the air(:

I hope;

Broken hearted to be healed,

Braveness to love again, just like you never been hurt!

Happy Valentine's day once again(:

Ps: remember, is not only for couples. Rmb your daddy, mummy, sister, brother, great friend, awesome friends, sweet friend, literally everyone to thank and appreciate for!(:

Bug hug!

lovee,

yours truly(:

two zero one one

Hello(:

Havent been blogging since November 2010! wow, guess i've been really busy:/

So yeah, had finished with my first semester and had a good refreshing one month break in december!

Havent been blogging or do my rantings about HIM. Guess i'm pretty much over him(: *jumps of joy and relief*

So, my life without him( since i've always talk about him)

Though this is pretty much related to him,

but i guess after losing him i realized that i'm a pretty insecure low in confidence person. Always thought i was the otherwise.

Still, hurt.

Still, afraid to try to fall in love again.

Still, have the fear of breaking hard.

Still, dontknowwhathappened.

Still, wants an explanation.

Still, carrying the smile as an disguise asset.

I'm still hurt inside with the smile and amount of laughters i carry.

Because when one smile, it doesn't mean you're happy but it can also mean that you wasnt the person you're smiling to, to be happy. And for my case, *smiles* i want everyone to be happy.

Just that i wonder can i make my smile comes along with a truly happy soul.

Figures of life

Exams

I'm stressed.
I feel betrayed.
My finals is soon.
I'm so doomed.
I'm still contemplating.
Procrastination.
i'm SCARED.
how?:(

Not yet

Not over you,
but i'm finally taking my steps(:

Btw, happy birthday baby. I think i still like you. But look, it's no longer a love(:
Have an awesome 18. I know you will(: Big cyber hug

Wish

I have a wish.
I wish upon the stars that i can forget all about you.
All our memories.
All our laughters.
And all those things that makes me love you.
I won't list it down. Cuz that just mean that i'm recalling all the times we had.
And no, i'm not thinking back no more.
I'll forget you.
Just like you did way earlier than me. I shall catch up too>:(
Farewell my love.

The I-s and The You-s

On this very day, last year, 7th October, you made my day. You made my awesome date. You made perfection. You made it all. Awesome-ness.
This year, 7th October, you made my day, the other way round, anniversary was not achieved. I can't say if it's you who made it. I can't say if it's you who made the negativity in me. You who cause my insecurity. You who made me tear every now and then. You who made me think I'm moving but I'm not moving on at all to be honest. You who made me stuck in where am i now.You who made my frown. You who made me a more serious person. You who made me a anti-social. You who made me what i wasn't what i used to be, total opposite. You who made me stop going to church. You who made me stop having faith in Him. You who made me go astray from Him. You who made me doubt. You cause the optimistic me became a pessimistic. You who made me stop putting hope. You who cause this mental damage. You who made me change.
But then again, you didn't ask for this. You didn't made us together. You did not want to be with me from the start. You who don't start the text all the time. You who didn’t want to make any move. You who don’t want to do the things every guy will do. So I'll change the yous to Is. I who cause all this damage. I who find fault and made us together. It was a one way thing all the long eyh?

I tell you something. I still cant accept the fact. I still cant take this in. I still cant stop loving you. I still cant stop thinking of you. I still cant stop missing you. I still cant stop everything that I’m suppose to put an end to it. I cant. I cant control my heart. Trust me, I’ve tried many times. I’ve tried. I’m scared. I hope you see this. I hope you care. I hope you still do. I hope you are what you’re not today. I hope you did not change. I hope you’re still you. I hope you’re just pretending to change just so I could forget you. I hope you’ll succeed in life. I hope you’ll find yourself a good wife and she’ll be the happiest wife in the world. I hope you’re able to be the one who propose, not the girl who does all the what a guy suppoed to do things like what I did when we’re together. I hope you’ll be mature, freaking grow up and be a man.

Nevertheless, I love you babe.

XOXO,

Germaine Tay