One feeling

Pain.
They all hurt all too much.
Far too long,
far too alone.
Unacceptable, Incomprehensible. 

New familiarity

And then as I read my older posts, I find myself feeling the same brokenness again.
I don't exactly rmb how I felt,
but I surely rmb how awful it felt,
how horrible the days to past,

It surprises me how it felt almost the same,
But this time, it can be nothing but worst.
The damage in the once damaged heart.

The thing abt me and him vs me and you,
I've put you in my future more than I did to anyone.
The thing abt me and you,
Losing you means,
Losing myself.

Two

What are the odds for you to stumble upon here?
What are the odds for you to know how I feel?

I fall and fall again, wondering did I even get back up.
How could one fall without standing?
I do not know.

Down and down my spirit went.
Demons sure know where you went.
Find me find me, I shout.
No, not with your voices to my head.

Fantasy and reality,
Whoa! They were never far.
But right now, right now baby, they are two different realms.

Let me out, let me out of this mess I shout.
But my head couldn't hear the voices from my lips.

Head to heart have such great distance,
But with you, they're never distant.

So tell me baby, was loving you wrong?

Hate

And I wake up hating dreams, hating life. And I thought to myself, this just isn't my day.
Those were the words of everyday. And maybe,
this isn't my life, and I hate it inside out.

I want my depression to slowly consume me, but I'm not sure why.
Demotivation have been there all the way.
Disappointments to misjudgements.

Explosive confetti type of love to explosive dynamite that destroys everything.

Oh my heart, where art thou?

Baby pot is what I wish to hear again.

Conscious mind tells me that all I wish now is nothing but fantasyland.
What holds true I do not know
But this aching heart I once call it mine?
Is nothing but an empty land.




-maine