The I-s and The You-s

On this very day, last year, 7th October, you made my day. You made my awesome date. You made perfection. You made it all. Awesome-ness.
This year, 7th October, you made my day, the other way round, anniversary was not achieved. I can't say if it's you who made it. I can't say if it's you who made the negativity in me. You who cause my insecurity. You who made me tear every now and then. You who made me think I'm moving but I'm not moving on at all to be honest. You who made me stuck in where am i now.You who made my frown. You who made me a more serious person. You who made me a anti-social. You who made me what i wasn't what i used to be, total opposite. You who made me stop going to church. You who made me stop having faith in Him. You who made me go astray from Him. You who made me doubt. You cause the optimistic me became a pessimistic. You who made me stop putting hope. You who cause this mental damage. You who made me change.
But then again, you didn't ask for this. You didn't made us together. You did not want to be with me from the start. You who don't start the text all the time. You who didn’t want to make any move. You who don’t want to do the things every guy will do. So I'll change the yous to Is. I who cause all this damage. I who find fault and made us together. It was a one way thing all the long eyh?

I tell you something. I still cant accept the fact. I still cant take this in. I still cant stop loving you. I still cant stop thinking of you. I still cant stop missing you. I still cant stop everything that I’m suppose to put an end to it. I cant. I cant control my heart. Trust me, I’ve tried many times. I’ve tried. I’m scared. I hope you see this. I hope you care. I hope you still do. I hope you are what you’re not today. I hope you did not change. I hope you’re still you. I hope you’re just pretending to change just so I could forget you. I hope you’ll succeed in life. I hope you’ll find yourself a good wife and she’ll be the happiest wife in the world. I hope you’re able to be the one who propose, not the girl who does all the what a guy suppoed to do things like what I did when we’re together. I hope you’ll be mature, freaking grow up and be a man.

Nevertheless, I love you babe.

XOXO,

Germaine Tay