Did i got really busy? Not at all actually.
Just got really tired with life. And, I just don't feel like doing anything.
Because when one faced too many disappointments, well it just demotivates you to move forward.
It all comes to the common question, what am I doing it for?
And there's this tiny little reminder, back in my head that always answers back,
'It's not for you, it's for God'.
You ask me how am i surviving?
God is the answer. He took away so many things i used to have, but He gave me one amazing person. In a way it doesn't make a well replacement for all the things I have, it is not a replacement. I'm still sad over the stuffs that happened, I can't change it.
I dont really know what do you call this person, but he gave me hope. A motivation that someone care if I push forward or not. Just like how God always does.
I'm still not contented with life.
I'm still selfish, wanting my own way.
I'm still not allowing God to fully take control of my life.
But there's this tiny little part of me? Hoping that I will do so.
Because as much as my self conscious told me to do it my way (which God's ways are not always what we wanted), I was brought up to believe, to have faith that my God is the answer, right?
And so i guess it's a right thing to say that- I really hope that somehow, God will change my heart
'Change my heart O God,
Make it ever true,
Change my heart O God,
May I be like You.' -Eddie Espinosa
Oh and, happy new year?(:
God bless all of you.
